I Feel Good

I waited until today to write this post so that I could honestly say that I do feel pretty good. It has been the longest week of my entire life. I am sure that most of you have heard by now but, surgery went great. The team of surgeons called the pathologist into the surgery to test the tumor right then. They also wanted to make sure they got enough of the tissue removed in case it was cancer. The preliminary report showed no cancer. I remember when I woke up in recovery, the doctor told me the tumor was benign, but I thought I had dreamt that until I saw Tad a few hours later. I was hoping to only stay one night in the hospital, but two night later I came home. It is incredible what they let you come home with now. i had a tube going into my belly button that was draining blood and fluids and I had two other tubes going into my stomach that were pumping pain medication in constantly. I finally got to shower on Friday. This was truly the highlight of my week. That gave me the biggest boost yet. So now that I am tube free, I am feeling much better. I am sick of sleeping on my back, but I think that will take a good long time to get to my stomach. It feels like someone has just taken all my insides out and tried to put them back together again. Although, I am sure that is what they did to me. I can tell I feel just a little better everyday. The hardest part of all of this is not being able to hold my babies. I hate feeling dependant on others and that is exactly what I am. Good thing my kids have a nice dad, great grand parents, and nice aunts and uncles. Poor Wyatt just keeps holding his arms up to me and crying. That about kills me. We have been so blessed through this trial. Heavenly Father has truly been watching over me. The timeline of my life leading up to this is beginning to make more and more sense to me. I can't imagine feeling like I have, so sore and tired, and thinking I had cancer and I had to return for treatments. I feel like a weight has been lifted with the news of no cancer. I know I can do anything now because of this news. I can do hard things.